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The more you are feeling comfortable with your spouse and how he or she feels about you, the easier it will be to get the right partner for you. Look for your own disadvantages. This will allow you to steer clear of getting hurt and will also make the relationship stronger.


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Send your own relationship and dating questions to loveletters globe. If you read the column, you know we get many letters from year-olds about dating fatigue, about how difficult it can be to find the right match.

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I am ready for a relationship again — would even love to be married again. Boston Globe video.

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Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston. The one main thing I noticed about them while they dated: positive, friendly attitudes.

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I am newly single. View Comments.

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Try not to do all-or-nothing thinking. What are your desires outside of this? I tried to enjoy it for what it was, but I always wanted more than just a casual relationship. They never referred to their ex or brought up any ill will about their divorces.

Yes, you want a companion for all of the big things, but can you let these early dates feel fun and light? Turning your focus to those things will help you feel less desperate AND will make you more interesting to other people. They end up the same — with me still being single.

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to a Friend. Happy, smiling, laughing, and sharing life with me. They are in their 50s. Slow your roll.

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Because I want that partner who will be around until my dying day. Three of my very close friends got divorced over the last few years. Please have some patience.

Get the guy: how to find, attract, and keep your ideal mate

I am a mature woman myself. It will also help to view dating as an opportunity to just get to know a lot of different people and then see where that goes, instead of treating each date like you might marry them.

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I want love, romance, and commitment. Try not to rush the process. Love Letters. Your impatience comes across in your letter, which means that it probably comes across even more strongly during an in-person date.

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I was married and recently divorced. That tone puts a lot of pressure on someone who is still getting to know you and trying to decide if they enjoy your company. If you accept that you might be single for a while and find some ways to enjoy that time, dating will feel less stressful, and you might have more success with it.

All are now in committed relationships, one is engaged.

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Just go out to have fun and find lots of other things to do in life so you have a life that others will want to be a part of.